Firstly, in order to manage tantrums, parents need to:
Know why their toddlers and kids resort to throwing tantrums. Essentially, they do so because it is their way of coping with difficult situations and associated feelings. Additionally parents must be able to recognize some of the ways by which toddlers and kids show tantrums. These include running off, holding their breath, sobbing, vomiting, screaming and throwing or breaking things.
Be aware of the some of the underlying reasons for the tantrums. To do so, parents need to ask themselves the following questions:
- Does your child get upset easily?
- Are they stressed, hungry and often tired? Do they have adequate rest or sleep?
- What are situations that they cannot cope with? Being in the company of others especially older kids.
- Do they have strong emotions such as anger, worry, fear and shame?
- Learn what causes them to be upset such as having to share their toys.
- See to it that they do not go hungry or get overly tired. Many toddlers and kids become cranky if they are deprived of their regular naps. This causes their triggers to be more sensitive and easily set off.
- Be conscious of their likes and dislikes and feelings in general. Try and talk to them and find out why they feel about a thing the way they do. Be in sync with their moods and feelings. Pose some questions to them to help them cope with feelings such as frustration and how they can do so in a positive manner. For example, many kids get upset when they cannot build a certain model with their building blocks. Show them how they can by following the step by step instructions instead of skipping certain steps.
- Take note of situations and circumstances that trigger off their tantrums with particular attention to when and where such triggers go off.
- Talk to themselves to stay calm. Manage their feelings first before trying to manage their kids' tantrums. Try and deliberately slow things down especially in what they say and do.
- Ride out the tantrum and think about what to do next in terms of alternatives. Just be there and offer emotional support. Do not intervene aggressively in the midst of a tantrum.
- Do not give in to their child's demands especially when they are being unreasonable or impractical. In such situations, take charge but be consistent. For example, their kids want to continue playing with their toys way past their bedtime and throw a tantrum when told to stop. Tell them that you are going to stow away the toys and then just do it.
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